The Orchestra - Using metaphor in parts work

I get most of my good ideas while working with clients – indeed it's not unknown for me to borrow ideas directly from things they have said and use them with other clients. This one however was pure, real-time, joyous collaboration. At the end of the previous session, he had asked for some help on how to recognise the difference between his parts and his core self - (the part of him that isn't a part) (For more on this see here  https://www.barrygoltencounselling.com/post/self-centred-selfish-or-just-self ) 

I had planned to give him a brief explanation of the 8 “C’s” of self in IFS. It probably would have been informative but so dry it would have slipped through his fingers like sand. He mentioned feeling a bit speedy. The speedy part wanted to do everything on his mind straight away. I wondered whether he was able to help his speedy part to relax a bit and allow him to get to his list of tasks later. He said the speedy part worries that if it let him slow down – he would carry on slowing and get nothing done. As this client likes metaphors, I likened this to a see-saw with a ball which slides all the way down then it’s tipped. He liked this as his parts are either speedy or at a halt. I then came up with another metaphor to help him see how the self and parts can interact.  

This was partially inspired by the fact that my client is a musician. I started to talk about the self as the conductor of an orchestra. The instruments were parts. The “speedy, vigilant part” was like the lead virtuoso violin. He was playing with a smudge on his fiddle. I asked him how the conductor would respond to the violinist. He initially said that he would tell the violinist to stop worrying about the smudge and that it would be alright. I wondered if there was a way to respond which embodied any of the qualities of “self”. Finding compassion and patience for the detail-obsessed fiddler, he told him that the sound would be just as good with a smudged fiddle and that his contribution to the overall sound was welcome. The client smiled and relaxed as he saw the difference a compassionate response made to his part.  

As the session went on, we likened others of his parts to members of the orchestra and found responses to their needs and demands which expressed the qualities of self. The part which makes him feel low and down was the double bass. His first response to the emergence of this part was to ask it to stop playing so much as it lowered the tone of the whole piece. When prompted to find curiosity – he has able to enquire of the bass about its need to keep things low. Engaged by his genuine interest – the bass shared its concern that without its low notes anchoring the piece – the frantic lead violin would lead the sound into chaos. Hearing this the conductor was better able to understand his role and reassure the bass that he would be brought in wherever needed to provide a useful grounding to the overall harmony.  

In a later session he described an angry part of himself, which he was working hard to contain as it might impact on others. I wondered what instrument this might be. Straight away he came up with the trumpet as the angriest instrument in the orchestra. Getting to know the trumpet we were able to see the important reasons for its anger – related to past experiences of injustice. As the part was able to be heard – its need to interrupt and dominate lessened. He had to accept that this part was a trumpet and not a quieter instrument like a piccolo. Its sound was sharp and passionate. It could make a valuable contribution to the sound if its appearances were well directed. 

And so – the theme of this metaphor started to emerge. Parts often have valuable contributions to make and when these stay unacknowledged, banished or gagged, they tend to make themselves heard in ways which upset the balance of the orchestra (system). The harmony is maintained when the conductor (self) can stay separate enough from the parts to bring them in when needed. This only happens when the conductor has a good enough relationship with the musicians to be trusted and allowed to lead. This relationship is built through the qualities of compassion, curiosity and calmness. Noticing the contributions of the parts and when to invite them requires creativity and connectedness. Having a strong overview of the needs of the whole orchestra, despite various external conditions needs courage, clarity and confidence.  

In future sessions, this client told me that at times when he noticed strong urges towards hypervigilance, anger or lowness he often remembered the metaphor of the orchestra and used it to help to find separation from the parts which were taking over. Thinking of the parts as having useful contributions which needed calm guidance and clear structure has been helpful in knowing how to respond to them more compassionately.