I’m going to try to explain why I was so blown away by Internal Family Systems (IFS) and why do I think it’s such a helpful and accessible type of therapy. In doing this – I’m going to allow myself to use “parts language” which is key to the IFS way of thinking. So what parts are around in writing this?
Well right up front in the driver’s seat is that part which wants to share ideas I feel passionate about. It’s like an excited child with a new toy. Its saying “I love this and want you to love it too.” Sitting on the passenger’s seat, keeping a watchful eye on my driving is a part which is thinking “Hang on Barry, you’re always being enthusiastic about new ideas, tone it down – you will just be too much for people”. Hiding in the inside pocket of this careful part is a very small part which is quivering with fear in case people don’t like what I’m writing and attack me in some way.
The back seat has a further chorus of parts. There’s the one which thinks I’m a fool to think I could be a therapist because I’m not nearly as grown up as those proper therapists. He’s being elbowed in the ribs by the part who thinks I’m the best therapist ever. Looking out of the window is the part who doesn’t really want to write this blog and would prefer to go for a walk or eat a cake in a café.
If I was to give a full inventory of the occupants of my parts vehicle this morning it would probably have to be a double decker bus – but I hope you’re getting the picture.
Before I discovered IFS – all these parts were squeezed into a mini. They were so jumbled up on top of each other that I just thought they were all me. They made lots of noise and because they didn’t agree they made it hard to plan any sensible routes to where I wanted to go. IFS has helped me get to know these parts, make friends with them, find out about why they are there and help them to have more space inside me.
Now I am trained to help you do that with your parts. More about the mechanics of this next time.
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