The right amount of worry?

Humans are hard-wired to scan for threat. The ancient part of the brain – the amygdala – was instrumental in helping humanity to survive in a world full of dangerous predators. The predators and threats we face today may not have sharp teeth and muscular jaws and require a different response to the Fight Flight Freeze we are programmed for.  

Many clients present to me with active hyper-vigilant parts. Early experiences of abuse, neglect, bullying or even plain unpredictability can leave them seeing threat everywhere. These parts did a good job in maintaining safety under these circumstances. They can continue to do so in situations where an urgent safety response is needed. It can be hard to turn the hypervigilant part down – when it has for many years been a stalwart first line of defence. Why would you even want to in a world where there are bad actors, liars, con artist and people who will take advantage everywhere? The answer is two-fold: 

•  Firstly – an over-active hypervigilant part can make you anxious, on edge, unable to relax and may lead to strategies like avoiding people or stressful situations and becoming risk averse. These behaviours can impact on health and relationships, and some clients seek help to ease them.  

• Secondly – not everyone is untrustworthy, out to get you or a threat to be managed. There are some good folk out there.  

Of course, it can be hard to tell who the good ones are – particularly when you first get to know them – don't people always show their best sides? This is where I start to talk to clients about “Proportionality”. How do we approach people and situations with a proportionate level of vigilance?  

In my experience – this is not as simple as just deciding to be more proportionate. If it was – clients wouldn’t need help with it. The process involves: 

• Getting to know the hypervigilant part – how it got its role, memories it holds, how old it is and how old it thinks you are. Hypervigilance often emerges in childhood, when we are more powerless to the actions of others. Getting to know that this is just a part of you can be powerful in itself. 

• Updating the part about who you are now, the resources you have and your current ability to deal with threats.  

These measures don’t often work as a magic wand. Hypervigilance can often re-emerge under stress, but it does provide a way to work with it and to help the part which is trying to help you, from overwhelming your life.